Cover Letter Blunders

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The following are excerpts from cover letters. Please don’t copy any of these examples:

  • “I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.”
  • “I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms.”
  • “Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.”
  • “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
  • “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
  • “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
  • “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
  • “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
  • “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
  • “I am loyal to my employer at all costs… Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
  • “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
  • “My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.”
  • “I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.”
  • “As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.”
  • “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
  • “Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
  • “Don’t take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers.”
  • Cover letter: “Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you”
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